Dear Cornerstone Family,
I’m often not very good at sitting still before the Lord when my heart is abuzz with the ache of longing and unfulfilled desire. To be in that soul space feels vulnerable and exposing, out of control and helpless. In my day to day life, I actually work hard to not feel that way. When I confessed this to an older pastor mentor ten years ago, he responded saying, “So, you’re working hard at avoiding your need for God and His grace.”
Ouch. I would have never said it that way to you, but as we spoke, he exposed how my uncomfortableness with my finiteness, my limitations, my weaknesses, and my general ability to satisfy myself with life, and I realized he was right. I also realized that in the flood of unfulfilled desires and disappointments, life’s many losses and crosses, God was saying to me, “Come to me, Nate. Come to me.”
Sadly, I often stubbornly say in response, “Not yet.” I’m not yet ready to come to you. I’m not ready to humble myself and admit I can’t do it. As you can see, the “not yet” is pride. I still think there’s a chance I can do it in my own strength. At other times, the “not yet” shows up as despair. I know I’m defeated, but now my pride is wounded, and I’d rather just wallow in my misery than be honest and run to God. At still other times, the “not yet” is hypocrisy. I’m pretending like I’m being faithful when I know I’m not, or I’m acting like I’m bringing my sin and needs to God when—truth be told—it’s just an act. Whatever the reason for the “not yet,” the biggest problem I faced wasn’t all my problems, but the problem of not running to the Lord for help. That was what I must overcome or, more properly, repent of, before the light and easy yoke of Jesus can be mine.
To get to a place of soul where true, heartfelt repentance is experienced requires the grace of humble effort. Notice those words—the grace of humble effort. Each of us has the holy responsibility to come to the Lord with our burdens of sin and needs. At the same time, the ability to do that comes only from God. Coming to God is a matter of grace.
Let me illustrate this. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). At the same time, no husband (if he’s honest) can do this. That is, he can’t do it on his own. That little prepositional phrase, “on his own,” is key. When God calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church, God never envisions or expects husbands to do that on his own. God knows we’re spectacularly needy of Him to work in us, so that we can do what He’s called us to do.
For starters, we need Him to graciously empower us with His Spirit; renew us in His love, so that we can love others with the love that He’s loved us with. Secondly, we’re going to need Him to cover our sin and forgive us when we fail to love as we ought. Notice, we need God on the front end for the ability to obey, and we need him on the backend for all the ways we fail to obey. In other words, we need Him all the time.
This gospel dynamic is at work in all true spiritual vitality. This is why St. Augustine would say, “Lord, command what you will and grant what you command.” Go ahead, call me to do whatever you want me to do, Lord, but I beg you—provide me with the grace I need to carry it out. For without you, I can do nothing, but with you, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). As we worship today, let this truth humble you and give you hope; that together we might experience increasing wonder, love, and praise of our gracious God!
Your servant,
